I paint my face every year all day
The 31st ain`t nothin` to me, another holiday
All of a sudden face paintin`s in style
And I`ve been doin` ever since Gilligan`s island was on

But try to live all year though
Try pickin` up a chick when your painted up like a weirdo
I`m 68 years old I still trick or treat
You think I care? S**t I`m tryin` to find somethin` to eat

And tell your old ladies to keep your pennys
If it ain`t above a quarter, don`t even bother
I`m sick of these little kids to I know you did it
Put a brick in your bag and hit me in the head with it

And then they take my candy and diss
Look what I got from the fat guy painted like kiss
All year I`m a psycho uh huh I see
But every Halloween, you wanna be me

They every Halloween, they want to be me
They every Halloween, they want to be me

A gorilla, a buffer fish and a bag lady
All made love and had a little baby
And supposedly I`m the one
But at this point that`s only purely speculation

On Halloween people smile at me
The rest of the year, they dial the police
They kick me off there lawn and shoot me off there cars
But on Halloween there givin` me candy bars

Trick or treat it`s 5:30 in the mornin`
I`m still out I`m standin` on your lawn
And I`m lookin` through your window, tap tap
I see a gummy bear on the table, ya gonna eat that?

My paint don`t come off, and if it did
You think I`m scary now, s**t
I look like Frankenstein that`s been slapped with ugly
Yet children hug me on Halloween

Every Halloween they want to be me
They every Halloween, they want to be me

Three, six, four people hate my guts
On Halloween though, they wanna ride my nuts
They dress up as monsters, freaks, and clowns
And pass jelly bears, goobers, and suckers around

They next day when I try to trick or treat
It`s get off the porch or I`ll call the cops you freak
I don`t understand you people but that`s okay
I`ll see you all next time you try to be Violent J

They every Halloween, they want to be me
They every Halloween, they want to be me
They every Halloween, they want to be me
They every Halloween, they want to be me

Everybody in the house
(Well I don`t care)
Everybody in the house
(Well I don`t care)

Everybody in the house
(Well I don`t care)
Everybody in the house
(Well I don`t care)