If you havin` girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain`t one

I got the Rap Patrol on the gat patrol
Foes that wanna make sure my casket`s closed
Rap critics that say he`s `Money, Cash, Hoes`
I`m from the hood stupid, what type of facts are those?

If you grew up with holes in your zapper toes
You`d celebrate the minute you was havin` dough
I`m like f**k critics, you can kiss my whole asshole
If you don`t like my lyrics, you can press fast forward

Got beef with radio if I don`t play they show
They don`t play my hits, well I don`t give a s**t, so
Rap mags try and use my black ass
So advertisers can give `em more cash for ads, f**kers

I don`t know what you take me as
Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has
I`m from, rags to riches, ni**az I ain`t dumb
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain`t one, hit me

99 problems but a bitch ain`t one
If you havin` girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain`t one, hit me

The year is ninety-four, in my trunk is raw
In my rear view mirror is the motherf**kin` law
Got two choices y`all, pull over the car or
Bounce on the Devil, put the pedal to the floor

And I ain`t tryin` to see no highway chase with Jake
Plus I got a few dollars, I can fight the case
So I pull over to the side of the road
Son do you know why I`m stoppin` you for?

`Cause I`m young and I`m black and my hat`s real low
Or do I look like a mind reader sir? I don`t know
Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo`?
Well you was doin fifty-five in the fifty-four

License and registration and step out of the car
Are you carryin` a weapon on you? I know a lot of you are
I ain`t steppin` out of s**t, all my papers legit
Well do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?

Well my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back
And I know my rights, so you gon` need a warrant for that
Aren`t you sharp as a tack, you should try out
For lawyer or somethin`, somebody important or somethin`

Child I ain`t passed the bar, but I know a little bit
Enough that you won`t illegally search my s**t
Well we`ll see how smart you are when the canine comes
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain`t one, hit me

99 problems but a bitch ain`t one
If you havin` girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain`t one, hit me

99 problems but a bitch ain`t one
If you havin` girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain`t one, hit me

Now once upon a time, not too long ago
A ni**a like myself had to strong arm a hoe
This is not a hoe in the sense of havin` a pussy
But a pussy havin` no goddamn sense, try an` push me

I try to ignore him, talk to the Lord
Pray for him, but some fools just love to perform
You know the type, loud as a motorbike
But wouldn`t bust a grape in a fruit fight

And only thing that`s gon` happen is I`ma get to clappin` and
He and his boys gon` be yappin` to the Captain
And there I go, trapped in the Kit-Kat again
Back through the system with the riff-raff again

Fiends on the floor, scratchin` again
Paparazzis with they cameras, snappin` them
D.A. try to give a ni**a shaft again
Half a mill` for bail `cause I`m African

All because this fool was harassin` them
Tryin` to play the boy like he`s saccharin`
But ain`t nuttin` sweet `bout how I hold my gun
I got 99 problems B and a bitch ain`t one, hit me

99 problems but a bitch ain`t one
If you havin` girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain`t one, hit me

99 problems but a bitch ain`t one
If you havin` girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain`t one, hit me

Havin` girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain`t one, ha ha
You crazy for this one Rick, it`s your boy