The royal penis is clean your highness
Thank you, king s**t

Yeah motherf**kers, welcome to the United States of America
Time to roll out the red carpet on y`all bitch asses
Hailin` from the filthy, dirty South, where the kings lay
Ludacris, disturbin` tha peace family
Recognize royalty when you hear it
The throne has been taken, so kiss this ni**as earring
Luda throw some grapes on these bitches

These bitches throwin` rose petals at my feet man
They wanna spoil me, treatin` me like royalty
What I`m `sposed to do? It`s such a sweet thang
Work that track, whip `em like Kunta
That`s why they stay down, they loyal citizens of Zamunda
By way of A-T-L, if you disagree
Don`t even look at me ho, don`t pass go, just go straight to jail
With no probation or bail but this ain`t Monopoly
It`s Jolly Green Giants `cause we smoke so much Broccoli

Oh oh spaghetti o`s, Luda`s oodles of noodles
And testin` me is like pitbulls put up to poodles
My rap career goes back further than yo` father hairline
It`s Ludacris, I pack more nuts than Delta Airlines
I`m fly, even when I get high I work cash
And even got my coach bumped up to first class
I`m boss to all employees and I`m here to teach the principle
`Cause I`ve been saved by mo` bells than Lark Vorhees

Man f**k that ni**a `Cris man, for real man
I`m tired of this s**t man
Man I try to rap for the ni**a, I try to get a ni**a tracks
He ain`t hearin` my s**t, man for real
Man my four-year-old son can rap better than that ni**a
Man that ni**a garbage, man I got talent too
The ni**a ain`t hearin` me, man is this s**t on?
`Cris c`mon `Cris, `Cris, f`real man
F**k you ni**a, man f**k you

F**k you too, what you wanna do? Scrawny ni**a
But I got a arsenal of automatics down to twenty-twos
Know how to use `em, fight dirty as s**t
I throw a grenade and all-in-one bury a clique
You see y`all got it all wrong like women in tuxedos
They comin` up shorter than five Danny DeVitos
I`m on a cool ranch, get laid more than Fritos
With five strippers, four wives and three amigos

I go scuba divin` in Bays at Montego
I find gold links and snatch `em like I`m Deebo
But I`m the light-skinteted version of Mandingo
I`ve seen more Beatles and Jagged Edges than Ringo
I used to run numbers in line they called me Bingo
`Cause I`m big, you a little star, you just twinkle
Old asses like sharpeis, y`all all wrinkled
And I stay with more bullets than yo` Billboard singles

Hoe now it`s just too much, you just gotta give applause
He is definitely all f`real, ya see what I`m sayin`?
Ha ha I be f**kin` with him all the time, yeah mean?
I`m sayin`, I used to just serve homes herb
Now how come through he want 50`s a purple
He want quarters a purple now, I want y`all to trip with it
Man, I woulda sold him a QP last week of the lava
Ya see what I` m sayin`?

Yeah, can I get a little hit of that, little ni**a with a bigga sack
C.P. set a bigger trap look at that Godby Road and Old Nat
Where they kick it at? And a lot of people just don`t know
Shady Park you heard just don`t go, quick to flip the bird up po`-po`
Makin` the way for that rodeo, that rodeo show
Gotta hit `em with a reload, I gotta put `em with the people
I gotta make a ni**a stop, drop, roll, oh no where the beat go?
Bring that, s**t back, didn`t wanna hear that, clik-clak

Tons of fun with guns, f**k all the lil` chit-chat get back get that, get that
Who knows, who goes there? Motherf**kers it`s Poppa Bear
Stop and stare, pourin` out a lil` gasoline and then drop a flare
I`m on, fire and you know I can`t stop `til I retire
Oh no, we stay swoll, rollin` on Vogue tires
Right down the avenue, passin` you rapidly stackin`
In the back of the Cadillac and packin` emergency action
Camera, light, lights, throwin` a punch and then fight, fight
Packin` a lunch and then bite, bite, A-T-L stay tight, tight

I`m just tryin` to save ya shorty, I`ma let you know it`s real down yeah
When you ride down that two-eighty-five and you go past Cascade
Get ready to go past that Campbellton Road
Fo` you get it to Camp Creek shorty just shake
`Cause dat where dem real ni**az at
I ain`t lyin` when you in Decatur and you flossin` down Glenwood

Candler Road or Rainbow ni**a shake
`Cause dat where dem real ni**az at
When you`re goin` down that ol` Nat Hill
And you pass dat second waffle house
`Fore you get to the rich ni**az shake
`Cause dat where dem real ni**az at
Matter of fact, just shaje when ya get to Georgia ni**a